I think it’s interesting that, despite the amount of people I see saying asexuals are super into slut-shaming (which is just a really terrible term pls stop using it), I never actually see anyone in the asexuality tag getting angry at people for having sex.
Sure, I occasionally see people saying…
I’ve seen it. For example, recently there was a post talking about how love without lust was more special or real or something.
I have also seen it, but at relatively low frequencies and with a high-level of in-community pushback—I’ve never seen slut-shaming go unremarked on, for example, and I often see multiple people wading in to say “that’s really not okay!” when it does happen.
I think that it’s probably more relevant to those people to ask whether the asexual community values slut-shaming, to which my first response is “which community?” Different communities will have different values and different standards for acceptable behavior within the community. I can name one historical asexual community where slut-shaming was an active part of the culture, which is the Non-Libidoist Society. (This community has been effectively dead since 2006, IIRC. But it’s a good example of what an asexual community based on antisexual values looks like. I should also note that it was in large part because of its prescriptive values and judgement of other people’s sexuality that this community has had very little direct influence on later asexual communities. In particular, the culture of AVEN—the largest community at the time and certainly the most influential—largely arose as a reaction to the antisexual elements embodied by the Non-Libidoist Society. So the impact it had on asexual history as a whole was to shift community norms as far away from its own norms as possible.)
On the other hand, in all extant communities that I’ve been part of (including AVEN, tumblr asexual communities, asexual_fandom on Dreamwidth, and the asexual blogosphere), not shaming other people for their sexuality or sexual activities has been an explicit core value of the community which is strongly socially enforced, particularly in the case of non-asexual people. (Paradoxically, my experience on both AVEN and tumblr is that people identified as within the asexual community were more likely to get criticized for their sexual activity than allosexual people were. YMMV, though.)
Basically, my point is that I’d argue that “not shaming people for their sexuality” has been a central core value of asexual communities since AVEN decisively won the Non-Libidoist Society/AVEN culture war of 2004. That doesn’t mean that individuals will always act in accordance with those core values, but it means that the community itself tends to police individuals who violate them.
It will be interesting to see what happens as asexual community fragments away from AVEN, though. Is a resurgence of explicitly sex-negative groups like the Non-Libidoists Society likely or possible?