metapianycist:

When I see ace-spectrum people describing primary sexual attraction as based on physical traits, it kind of irks me. It’s not about physical traits as such. It’s about immediately perceptible traits. Physical traits can fall into that category, but also in that category fall certain behavioral…

Have you seen a lot of demi people describing the specifics of how they experience attraction? I’ve only seen one or two people describe things more in depth than “have to form a really close emotional bond to experience sexual attraction,” which is pretty close to the idea of Rabger’s “secondary sexual attraction.” That’s seriously the explanation I see everywhere. I’ve always been interested in a better explanation from someone who is actually demi, partly because it would be a really good resource to share around, and partly because I actually don’t see many demi-identified people being really outspoken about their experiences. Shiyiya is maybe the one person I can think of who really talks about her experience that I’ve seen, and I haven’t had the foresight to grab any links off her blog and, uh, tumblr sucks for finding things. A lot. 

Anyway, if you know of a really good post from a demi person explaining how their experience is different from the Rabger’s model of demisexuality (which is seriously the only place I ever see Rabger’s model used), mind sharing? I’d love to link it around so it gets more visibility.