June 2011
65 posts
Attempted Danger: Wanted: Female Platonic Partner →
outlawroad:
Let me…. soothe some of the stuff you’ve brought up, if I can.
I would not expect my female platonic partner, if aromantic, to have no other strong emotional attachments. That would be completely illogical of me, not to mention unfair considering I also want a romantic partner at the same time. I’ve always hated the idea of relationship hierarchy, which is one of the reasons why...
lizziegoneastray:
pmzzo:
altweibersommer:
“Asexuals are invariably sexually sublimated by their jobs or hobbies. All the energy and driving interest which would normally be devoted to sexual activity is channelled into other pastimes or into their chosen occupations. If a person favors other interests over sexual activity, it is his right, and no one is justified in condemning him for it....
4 tags
Attempted Danger: Wanted: Female Platonic Partner →
outlawroad:
I want a woman in my life who I can trust and love completely, a female companion who can function as my platonic partner (in addition to my male romantic partner). I want a woman who is an aromantic asexual or an aromantic heterosexual, someone child-free, and someone who would consider her…
So this actually makes me, as an aromantic asexual woman who largely squashes* on...
subtlefire replied to your post: For black/grey icing, try to cake decorating section of a craft store. There should be a rack of little tubs of icing dye. They are fairly cheap, and if you check the store’s website before you go there may be a coupon you can print out. It’s is more of a gel than a liquid and will dye more strongly than the liquid you get in the grocery store. Mix in a little bit...
Asexuality as Identity (please note comment added...
southpawscopic:
pflagmom:
Asexuality as Identity
by ERICA CHU on May 24, 2011 • 3:46 pms
“After this failed relationship, I guess I’ll be asexual for a while.”
I’ve overheard a lot of people make joking comments similar to this. What they mean is their sexual relationships aren’t quite working out the way they want, so they are accepting their unfortunate circumstances. Though the joke...
sirperceval asked: For black/grey icing, try to cake decorating section of a craft store. There should be a rack of little tubs of icing dye. They are fairly cheap, and if you check the store's website before you go there may be a coupon you can print out. It's is more of a gel than a liquid and will dye more strongly than the liquid you get in the grocery store. Mix in a little bit of dye at a time into...
Ace of Hearts: Oh, so that terrifying talk I was... →
asexualheart:
Funny story.
I packed up early from work (which was a surprisingly good day, considering June 28th is my cursed day and terrible things always happen on this day… which did not raise my hopes for this meeting) at about 3:20. By 3:22, I was in the elevator to go to his office. At 3:23, I had a…
I am glad you have an awesome mentor and that the talk went well! I feel like...
Since apparently this is a reminder that people...
asexualheart:
meloukhia:
Here is how to behave around a service animal:
Ignore it. Seriously, pretend the animal just doesn’t exist, beyond exercising due caution to avoid distracting/injuring the animal.
Do not attempt to talk to, touch, or otherwise interact with service animals.
Unless you know and are friends with their handlers? Don’t attempt to interact with them either.
Don’t...
subtlefire replied to your post: Have now hit the purple phase of my ace scarf….
You can drape it over your steering wheel so it doesn’t get crazy hot you don’t burn your hands trying to drive!
Brilliant! This totally did not occur to me until you suggested it. And actually, that’s something I could really use since I so-foolishly own a car with a black interior and it’s...
Have now hit the purple phase of my ace scarf. Seriously, I am averaging a stripe a day, which is awesome and made of cool and win! I am so excited to wear it.
…just realized that it is going to be a whole three or four months before it is not a blazing inferno of unpleasantness cold enough here to wear so much as a long-sleeved shirt, let alone a scarf. Weep.
Screw it, I can wear it on...
Well.
aceadmiral:
Chapter 6’s title: Boyfriends and Girlfriends.
One of the chapter objectives: Give a simple description of the traits I look for in a boyfriend or girlfriend.
[IMG: Den-O does the most half-hearted “Ore Sanjou” ever.]
Can’t wait.
Last spring I had a classroom exercise that asked us to do this, then give a simple description of traits you’d look for in someone to have a...
An open note: if people would stop Googling variations on “autistics incapable of love,” I could die happy. I get at least one of those a week and you know, I’d like to think that the post on the subject I wrote last year was just that awesome that people keep wanting to come back to it, but I seriously doubt it. I am really, really tired of seeing that phrase come up over and...
Also,
misterstibbons:
I really want to knit something.
Like,
I have been overtaken with the desire to knit.
Knitting
is a thing I want to do.
JOIN THE COLLECTIVE.
Seriously, so much fun!
pflagmom asked: Thanks for the comment on the post on Asexuality as an identity. I am WAY new to this area and am trying to learn about it as I want to be inclusive of everything that fits under the "queer" umbrella. I'm glad to hear the article was good, it seemed like it to me. Now we just need to figure out the graphs.
Asexuality as Identity
sir-kit:
pflagmom:
Asexuality as Identity
by ERICA CHU on May 24, 2011 • 3:46 pms
“After this failed relationship, I guess I’ll be asexual for a while.”
I’ve overheard a lot of people make joking comments similar to this. What they mean is their sexual relationships aren’t quite working out the way they want, so they are accepting their unfortunate circumstances. Though the joke may...
subtlefire replied to your post: Spending the day knitting my ace scarf, baking…
Woohoo! You can do it! If you’re using DPNs, make sure you pull the stitches tight so you don’t get ladders between the needles. Not too tight though, or you’ll get a similar effect from the distorted stitches. :/ It takes practice, basically.
I’m not using DPNs on this project, just single-pointed ones....
2 tags
Carnival of Aces--Deadline Approaching! →
Hey, guys, just as a reminder—the deadline on the Carnival of Aces is June 1! This month’s theme is community and pieces for it would be pretty awesome. I’d really like to see what people have to say on the topic.
I figured out how to do stripes for the ace scarf. I am so excited about this project! Also, I am no longer knitting with black yarn but have started on the grey, which is nice because knitting with black yarn sucks. You can’t see what your needles are doing and it’s hard to tell where the mistakes are.
(Yeah, the tumblr might become overtaken by knitting for a while, much as the...
Harry Potter post time!
ace-azaelia:
Okay so I just took yet another sorting quiz and confirmed myself to still be a Hufflepuff (well at least until Pottermore officially sorts me somewhere I don’t want to be… I’m really hoping that like the real sorting hat, the Pottermore sorter will at least take our wishes into consideration.)
Anyway, this got me to browsing the #hufflepuff tag. And I was like “oh right, for some...
Spending the day knitting my ace scarf, baking cookies, and watching Doctor Who. It’s been a good day.
(Also, learning how to knit in the round because I’m also trying to make a pair of fingerless gloves. SO MUCH SWEARING.)
I'm collecting Dan Savage quotes.
asexualheart:
One of my coworkers and my boss decided last week to try to bring him to our university sometime in the near future, and neither of them would believe me when I told them about the shit he writes in his column. (No, neither of them have ever read it — they just know him through the It Gets Better If You’re a White, Upperclass, Cisgender, Thin, Attractive, Sexual, Gay Male...
So I got 24 clicks to my blog from the search term “asexual suicide” today. This is really, really unusual for my site. To be honest, I’m sad and a little worried for whoever is searching that so strongly right now.
Did I maybe miss something that would cause someone to search those terms for a discussion? All of the other explanations I can think of are very worrying.
I’m asking for post topics again. I’m not quite blocked on Things to Write About yet, but I’m not really bubbling with ideas, either. So is there anything anyone would like to hear my thoughts on? This week’s post is fluffy and short and focuses on swag, but next week’s is more or less completely unformed at the moment.
The two things that might or might not be in...
unbrokencircle asked: "This is one of the reasons I was not necessarily comfortable with the creation of the “sexual privilege checklist” at the start of the entire drama. And I am less comfortable with it now, after seeing this post. I am considerably less interested in emphasizing the differences between asexuals and the rest of the world than I am in finding common ground between asexuals and...
Ace but not Queer
outlawroad:
You know, as an asexual, I have never felt any particular need to be a part of the queer community or identify as queer. I thought about it once, briefly, but it just doesn’t resonate with me. I respect queer people and asexuals who personally find the term “queer” a useful or relevant term….. but I’ve always felt like mass acceptance of asexuals into the LGBTQ community is a sort of...
2 tags
A brief history of asexuality in fandom, as seen... →
“Asexuality in fandom, asexual representation in fandom, attitudes towards asexuality in fandom, all of that - these are changing incredibly quickly. Eighteen months ago I was astounded to see more than, like, two other fannish aces around. A year ago, if you’d told me we’d be criticising particular tropes in asexual fic at this point I would have laughed in your face...
The Impossibility of Coming Out
captainheartless:
I finally have time to write again, now that I’ve graduated and am done with all the ceremonies and such. So, here goes:
I’ve “come out” as asexual to a lot of people, but the fact of the matter is I’m not out to anyone. No matter how hard I try, I can’t be “out” as asexual to people; no one can. It’s impossible to be fully “out” as asexual. The fact of the matter is, when I...
edgar-night:
Ohhh, look. Someone plonking more “relationships are so frustrating I think I’ll become asexual” crap into the #asexual tag.
I should be used to this by now.
I should.
I really should.
But it’s still ridiculous and annoying.
So, with that:
BAAAAARGH I AM A GIANT SQUID OF ANGER
[Picture: A person with short black hair and glasses wearing a grey shirt sits in an office chair...
My blog is now an ad-free space. I decided I was waaaaaay too uncomfortable with the content of the ads I was able to find to be willing to leave them up there and have paid for the ad-removing upgrade. I apologize to anyone who was made uncomfortable or upset by them.
Wordpress ads
aceeccentric:
writingfromfactorx:
Apparently it will cost me $30 to get the ads off.
Wonderful. I haven’t made up my mind yet on how to handle this. I’m particularly mad that I wasn’t let know when the site decided to put the ads on my blog—I’m angry that it took someone noticing that an ad on the bottom of my site was grossly inappropriate for me to find out this was happening.
Dammit,...
Apparently it will cost me $30 to get the ads off.
Wonderful. I haven’t made up my mind yet on how to handle this. I’m particularly mad that I wasn’t let know when the site decided to put the ads on my blog—I’m angry that it took someone noticing that an ad on the bottom of my site was grossly inappropriate for me to find out this was happening.
Dammit, Wordpress.
singasongforroland:
writingfromfactorx:
Writing From Factor X: What I’d Like to See
aceaviatrix:
I AGREE WITH EVERYTHING IN THIS.
and I found the Google ad at the bottom (when I was there) to be in really bad taste and totally not cool at all:
[The image is of a Google ad which says “What Really Attracts Men” on the top line, “9 Ugly Mistakes Women Make That Men Find Totally...
Writing From Factor X: What I'd Like to See →
aceaviatrix:
I AGREE WITH EVERYTHING IN THIS.
and I found the Google ad at the bottom (when I was there) to be in really bad taste and totally not cool at all:
[The image is of a Google ad which says “What Really Attracts Men” on the top line, “9 Ugly Mistakes Women Make That Men Find Totally Unattractive.” on the second line, and on the bottom line...
Writing From Factor X: What I'd Like to See →
This is me putting my optimistic, non-angry face on. Which I should probably do more when blogging, actually…
still one of the best glee fics ever
blaaaarga-blaaarga-blaarg:
http://fandomfrom3.livejournal.com/35410.html?page=2&cut_expand=1#cutid1
This may in fact be one of my favorite fics ever.
And I’ve never even watched Glee.
Part 1: Thinking In Pictures
theskinofourteeth:
semiel:
dunespicecat:
jemimaaslana:
fullspectrumliving:
Today I’m going to give you a little insight into the inner workings of the brain of an autist in the first part of a series. I can’t promise this is what it’s like for everyone, but after reading Temple Grandin’s books and other books on autism, it seems I at least fit a common theme.
For the sake of brevity, as...
hidden-agender asked: Oh, that makes sense! The "allo-" root comes up a lot in linguistics, with words like "allomorph" and "allophone," but somehow that never occurred to me for "allistic." Thanks Erin! <3
A Queer One From The Start: Could someone tell me... →
fierystage:
I’ve seen that word floating around for a couple weeks now as an antonym for “autistic.” I admit, ever since I found out I was autistic, I’ve used “neurotypical/NT” as its antonym out of habit, but now I realize that it’s problematic since there are plenty of folks who aren’t autistic but have one…
I am guessing it’s a backformation using the “allo” root for...
Good At Describing Things By Their Abscence
aceadmiral:
So, long story, I found myself listening to a cover of Rihanna’s “Only Girl (In the World).” This band seems to edit out overt sexual content from the songs they do, so I was hoping it might be a little asexy, but it feels more to me like abstinence-until-heteronormative-marriage to me. (Not that that’s necessarily bad, just not what I was hoping for.)
Anyway, in this song, which...
A request for resources
supermattachine:
I have a confession, guys. In the wake of the whole privilegedenyingasexuals fiasco, I’ve been reminded that while I’m not an unkind jerk like the person who runs that blog, I AM super bad at understanding the identities of and being allied to asexual & demisexual people. But I want to learn. All queers in solidarity, etc, plus there are some great asexual people in the...
Okay, I thought I was done with this topic, but I...
lizziegoneastray:
The thing for me about people trying to divide asexual people up according to romantic orientation is that to me, it feels like they’re trying to split our community up. We never agreed to that, and furthermore, there are so damn few asexuals in the world that we can’t really afford to splinter apart. Our similarities are more important to us than our differences; there are...
2 tags
Overlap →
As I understand, there’s been some hullabaloo lately on tumblr about whether or not asexuals, by virtue of being asexual, are allowed to call ourselves queer. I don’t have a tumblr, so I haven’t been following what’s going on too closely, but I understand there’s a group called Privilege-Denying Asexuals that insinuates that there’s some sort of… well, it certainly can’t be asexual privilege,...
Nouning an Adjective
aceadmiral:
One of the things that would make me really uncomfortable when I was teaching English was the sentence “I am a Japanese.” This is what the textbooks teach in school to say, but… It grates on my ears to hear someone reduce themselves to an -ese adjective. I can’t really explain why “-ese” in particular sets me off, since I have no problem with noun-adjectives ending in -n, (Korean,...
Ace of Hearts: Yesterday, I went to the... →
asexualheart:
writingfromfactorx:
asexualheart:
and met the biggest douchebag in the world. I was talking to a male friend, and a guy comes up and stands right in front of me, his back to me, talking to my friend. This guy had been really vocal during the previous part of orientation, so I knew a little about him already.
Me: Excuse me, we…
This makes me really glad that I happen to work...
Ace Admiral: バツイチ →
aceadmiral:
writingfromfactorx:
aceadmiral:
So, one of the big existential questions often considered in the asexual community is, where is the line between romance and friendship?
Some days I think I’m aromantic. I just don’t need people around me all that much (the opposite, sometimes), and I feel like if I was really romantic, I would…
I’ve more or less been coming to the conclusion...
Ace Admiral: バツイチ →
aceadmiral:
So, one of the big existential questions often considered in the asexual community is, where is the line between romance and friendship?
Some days I think I’m aromantic. I just don’t need people around me all that much (the opposite, sometimes), and I feel like if I was really romantic, I would…
I’ve more or less been coming to the conclusion that romance…...
